I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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