I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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