Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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