I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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