I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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