dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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