Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
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everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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