How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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