Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
