Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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