wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
