All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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