i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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