And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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