I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
