im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
