Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
