plz talk dirty to me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
