quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
