I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize