I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
