You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I cut my penus on the lid.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet