somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men