Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed