I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
