3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
