so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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