Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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