i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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