Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
