yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
