Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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