is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
