Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
