There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
