It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
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You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
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Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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