so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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