I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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