I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
