So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
