i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
