why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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