he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
