This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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