Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
