My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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