i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
