you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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