I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
