He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
