I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
