Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
