Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
God, I missed his penis.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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