I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
