I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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