mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
