ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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