I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
