We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so let's talk penis.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
