Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
