I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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