I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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